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 Arragonnia the Saiyan

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Alchemy12
Npc Admin


Posts : 1
Join date : 2011-08-25

Fighter Bio
Stamina:
0/0  (0/0)
Ki:
0/0  (0/0)
Alignment:

PostSubject: Arragonnia the Saiyan   Thu Aug 25, 2011 6:35 am

Name: Arragonnia
Age: 11
Gender: boy
Race: Saiyan
Height: 4 ft 4 in.
Weight: 120lbs.
Residence: Earth

Appearance:

Picture or two Paragraphs: He has tan skin, a scar over his left eye, and a little birthmark on his left arm.
Clothing: He wears a scouter that is red , Piccolo's cape that is black, and Goku's uniform that is custom made to be red with a black belt, and boots he made to be extra heavy.
Physique: He is buff but skinny
hair: His hair color is purple and the hair style is the one super saiyan 2 teen gohan.

Biography:

History: My character was abandoned as a baby, and sent in a pod far away because he was a low level class warrior. When he landed aliens found him, took him inm and was raised as a fighter then he left for namek.
Attitude: My character is shy but when he get's angry he becomes a total maniac almost becoming unstoppable
Alignment: 0
Ability: Saiyan Spirit -- Saiyans get a +50 gain to all of their stats after a battle that they have lost.

Stats:

Strength:50 +50 Strength
Ki: 100
Stamina: 50 +50 Stamina
Durability: 100
Speed: 100
Energy: 100

Power Level: 600

Role Player:

Roleplay Sample: Arragonnia was launched into space when he landed he was lost in for a couple years then he launched to namek. When landed he was already 6 yrs. old and he trained inside the little pod where he landed was in a desert land and saw no life for 1 hour. Then someone came and found him he trained for 4 yrs. then left the planet for earth. So he could find the one called vegeta and battle him when he got there it had been a year he decided to battle him at the age of 14 and is still training to this time preparing for his ultimate battle.

Roleplay History: No where else

Find us: Searched it up on the internet


Last edited by Alchemy12 on Sat Aug 27, 2011 3:22 am; edited 4 times in total (Reason for editing : needed to fix some certain details)
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MaximumMajin
Admin


Posts : 210
Join date : 2011-07-22

Fighter Bio
Stamina:
115/200  (115/200)
Ki:
60/200  (60/200)
Alignment: -5

PostSubject: Re: Arragonnia the Saiyan   Thu Aug 25, 2011 6:39 am

I'm going to ask that you add more to your characters history and appearance description, those are the biggest things I can see.

Some other little tidbits: Your characters only 3-feet tall and is a saiyan over the age of 5 o.O

You can't be a half-saiyan if your history depicts you as being banished in a pod, meaning your probably from Vegeta, where there are no humans to mate with.
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Breeze
Npc Admin
avatar

Posts : 48
Join date : 2011-09-08

Fighter Bio
Stamina:
200/200  (200/200)
Ki:
200/240  (200/240)
Alignment: 0

PostSubject: Re: Arragonnia the Saiyan   Sat Sep 10, 2011 12:33 am

I'll make an overview.

Quote :

Attitude: My character is shy but when he get's angry he becomes a total maniac almost becoming unstoppable

I feel a little uncomfortable with those last three words at the end of your sentence. Don't mind changing that up?

Quote :


My character was abandoned as a baby, and sent in a pod far away because he was a low level class warrior. When he landed aliens found him, took him inm and was raised as a fighter then he left for namek.

Who was your founder's name?

What does he or she look like?

What age did you decided to train on?


Quote :
Arragonnia was launched into space when he landed he was lost in for a couple years then he launched to namek. When landed he was already 6 yrs. old and he trained inside the little pod where he landed was in a desert land and saw no life for 1 hour. Then someone came and found him he trained for 4 yrs. then left the planet for earth. So he could find the one called vegeta and battle him when he got there it had been a year he decided to battle him at the age of 14 and is still training to this time preparing for his ultimate battle.

The minimum word count is 200, so your roleplay sample should be over or on 200.

And I'm agreeing with MaximumMajin on the first sentence.



But anyway, the rest looks good. Just fix the errors, then call one of the staff to check over Smile
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MaximumMajin
Admin


Posts : 210
Join date : 2011-07-22

Fighter Bio
Stamina:
115/200  (115/200)
Ki:
60/200  (60/200)
Alignment: -5

PostSubject: Re: Arragonnia the Saiyan   Sat Sep 10, 2011 1:10 am

sorry wind, that was a good review, but your barking up the wrong tree. I think this guy's gone, I'll delete this by the end of the week if he doesn't show up, but for now I don't think he will...
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Breeze
Npc Admin
avatar

Posts : 48
Join date : 2011-09-08

Fighter Bio
Stamina:
200/200  (200/200)
Ki:
200/240  (200/240)
Alignment: 0

PostSubject: Re: Arragonnia the Saiyan   Sat Sep 10, 2011 11:37 am

Ahh. I wonder why people always make an account, then leave... but I don't blame of why, but I really don't know. Sure there's a good explanation though.
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